Memecoins are the point

Cypherpunks wanted to change the world. We ended up with memecoins.

Our story begins with some very smart and idealistic developers, known as cypherpunks, creating a new technology know as a blockchain. Blockchains are databases, but decentralized. Advertised as being "censorship-proof," they reduce the possibility of users being subjugated to third-party interference.

Cypherpunks have always wanted their tamper-proof databases to flourish, go mainstream, and improve regular people's lives. A video from 2015 pans out from an interconnected power plant, grocery store, hospital and airplane before loftily declaring that Ethereum, one of today's largest blockchains, will be "the secure backbone for everything from e-commerce to the internet of things."

Some of you may remember another famous video from the mid-2010s, in which a young Vitalik Buterin, co-creator of Ethereum, challenged viewers: "What will you build on top of Ethereum?"

The world has responded. Forget interconnected power plants and grocery stores. The most popular thing being built on top of blockchains are memecoins. 

A memecoin is a pure gamble. These valueless tokens, typically created anonymously, usually have a mascot, or meme, loosely associated with them, some well-known examples being dogecoin, pepe, HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu, gigachad and dogwifhat. A memecoin provides no dividends and leads to no productive activity. Its price depends entirely on subsequent players emerging to repurchase it at a higher price. The result is a hyper-volatile pyramid betting game.

via Twitter

Memecoins don't quite jive with the cypherpunk dream of creating a fairer system, one in which everything, including all of high-finance—and by that I mean banking, payments, insurance, and investments—has migrated over to blockchain nirvana. A memecoin is the epitome of low-finance. It belongs in the same gutter as some of the grimiest members of the financial world: lotteries, slots, chain letters, raffles, HYIPs, and other zero-sum games.

Cypherpunks and their fellow travelers are offended by memecoins. They want their blockchains to be used for more noble reasons:

• it’s sucking the energy out of crypto [link]
• it is a complete bastardisation. a total mockery, a clown show [link]
  
• things have hit an all-new bottom with 2024: racist, sexist, and other shitheaded memecoins which are merely a vehicle to transfer wealth from the many to the most obnoxious people on the planet [link]
  
• besides undermining the long-term vision of crypto that has kept so many of us in the space, memecoins aren't very technically interesting [link]

Buterin, too, gripes that "even the non-racist memecoins often seem to just go up and down in price and contribute nothing of value in their wake." Trying to find a silver-lining, he implores memecoin makers to donate a portion of their supply to charity, sort of like how raffles are used to fund good works. 

Cypherpunk's frustration with memecoins understandable. But I don't think the cypherpunks should be complaining. Guys, what exactly did you think your zero-rules financial substrates were going to be used for?! Memecoins are the point.

Memecoins as the fundamental unit of blockchains

People have a natural predilection to gamble, but gambling has a bad wrap and so many gambling games have been declared illegal. Memecoins are a great example of this, their presence being prohibited on society's official financial venues including its stock exchanges and commodity markets, as well as its casinos and online betting sites.

Up in Canada, which has historically been a haven for scummy finance, the closest you can get to floating a memecoin is by taking the junior gold route. Start by incorporating a gold exploration company, buy the rights to some worthless property in an isolated region of northern Canada, list the company on a junior stock exchange, promote your sham as the next big gold mine, and sell out to the latecomers. You're basically created a memecoin; a token based on nothing. 

But this is an arduous way to run a memecoin. You still need to disguise yourself as a regular firm, publish audited financial statements, and hire a board of directors, plus you'll have to provide your real name, which means potential lawsuits or criminal charges. A pure memecoin, say like dogwifhat, which isn't burdened by any of these costly real-world obligations, would never get permission to be listed, even on Canada's shadiest junior stock exchange.

Enter blockchains, which are inherently anarchic. Blockchains allow folks to deploy illegal and unregulated betting games without the authorities being able to step in and say: "Hey, you can't do that." With mainstream exchanges and casinos being closed off to them, it's no wonder that memecoins have come to dominate the new medium.

If your blockchain doesn't experience a constant stream of memecoin issuance, it's effectively dead. Hordes of crazy gamblers buying and the selling meaningless, non-productive coins is a sign of a flourishing and fertile censorship-resistant financial medium. Sleezy promoters competing to draw attention to their favorite memecoin on social media isn't "sucking the energy" out of crypto; it's the whole point of crypto.

Source: Twitter

As for the cypherpunk idealists complaining about memecoins, they need to accept the fact that blockchains will probably never become the "backbone of everything." Instead, blockchains will continue to serve as a major hub for grimy low-finance; stuff like memecoins and ponzis that can't make the jump to official venues. Many of these low-finance services will be illegal or shady or distasteful, because those are precisely the things that need protection from third-party interference. (And to be fair, certain banned low-finance services can be quite useful.) If you're going to hock censorship-resistance to the world, don't grumble about who shows up at the table.

Memecoins have sometimes been described as a potential gateway drug or Trojan horse for broader adoption of blockchains. "Once they try dogwifhat, they won't be able to resist my quadratic voting project." But that's just wishful thinking. Serious and "respectable" high-finance services, say like insurance and banking—the stuff we all need for day-to-day life—are by necessity legal and thus welcome on mainstream habitats, and so these services and their users need never gravitate to the same rule-free substratum that memecoins have.

What will you build on top of blockchains? Memecoins. Memecoins are the fundamental financial unit of crypto.

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P.S. I must be running out of material because I wrote an early version of this post back in 2018 for Breakermag